Boundaries Matter

” I set boundaries that honor the sacredness of who I am.”

You are sacred. You’re highly valued and indispensable, the question is, do you see it? Have you taken the time to really look at the value you are placing on yourself? We tend to put a higher value on people and things outside of us than we do on ourselves which, is unfortunate. The lack of value makes it easier to make excuses for unacceptable behaviors regarding dealing with us, and the truth is, it takes diligence and hard work to shift the narrative around self-worth. The more we come to honor the divine within ourselves the more the things around us have to align with that truth. We have to be willing to let go of what doesn’t speak to our sacredness despite the emotional, mental, or physical connections to them. Therein lies the challenge. How are we processing the guilt, and shame around the idea of creating distance or putting people and things out of our life? Is it even guilt or shame, perhaps it’s a fear based response to not wanting to be or feel alone. Maybe, we don’t feel as if we are strong enough to have a voice at all. What are the feelings we have about abandonment and are they so strong that we will allow almost anything not to be or feel alone? The rabbit hole goes deep, and this two-minute read will not solve the world’s problems today. I do hope that it sparks the dialogue within yourself about where you are in this process. I hope it makes us look at how we access our value, what we do to protect and sustain it, so it will appreciate over time.

Try some of these tips to help with establishing boundaries

  • Grab a piece of paper and jot down words that describe how you want to feel in your personal, professional, mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual life.
  • To the right or left of each section list things or behaviors that you are experiencing currently or recently experienced that take away from what you want to feel.
  • Identify actions taken by people in your life whose behaviors take away from what you want to feel in your life.
  • Speak to those individuals (write an email or note if that’s better for you) about how the behaviors make you feel and give them a chance to rectify them.
  • Take note of the actions that those people take moving forward. No effort to change shows a lack of care for you. Some effort is a positive sign that that person might need more time and reinforcement. Some will understand and have very few instances of repeating hurtful actions if any.
  • ALWAYS. ALWAYS. ALWAYS. SPEAK YOUR TRUTH. I promise it can be hard but even if your voice trembles, get it out. You will become more comfortable over time.

Lotus Medicine: The force is with you, and it is your responsibility to protect it.

Love and Light,

Nakeasha J

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